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As I mentioned in my last post, my ex and I are trying it again and I’m going into it with cautious optimism. “But Andy, what about the other girls you were dating and what of Eharmony?” you must be asking.
Apparently getting back together with your ex sends shockwaves of bad karma through your dating life.
The physical therapist broke a date with me for this past Wednesday night… one that she instigated. If you remember, she wanted to see each other friendly/casually and I agreed, so when she asked me out to dinner I knew she wasn’t bullshitting me. I was annoyed because I told her that I wouldn’t be finished at work until 6:30 and wouldn’t be free until 7. She’s texting to see where I am and eventually asks to reschedule before I even get to my car… on grounds that she’s hungry now so she started fixing herself dinner and wanted to be in bed early. Let’s see if she makes this up.
I hadn’t seen the interior designer for nearly two weeks; she took a vacation and I invited her to my birthday extravaganza the following weekend. She didn’t make it, but wanted to give me a “birthday surprise” last Sunday. (Something tells me it wasn’t balloon animals)
I felt like poo, so declined and we agreed on today (Friday). She texted me Wednesday afternoon to cancel, so I called when my plans fell through for that night. It was then that she informed me that she doesn’t want to see me anymore outside of friendship. I had just been flaked on, so I wasn’t in the mood to discuss our inadequacies as partners. My belief is that if you want out, you’re out… no discussion necessary. I just said, “Okay. I’m not looking to jump into a relationship now anyway. Bye.” Totally caught me off guard. Ever notice that many relationships have a see-saw effect: one person is more interested/attracted/invested than the other? I was the latter. We saw each other for about a month. Nothing serious, but I honestly believe there was potential. I have no clue what caused her to change her tune all of the sudden, but my brother’s theory is that a cold shudder went up her spine as soon as I agreed to start seeing J again. (Kind of like when you stick an icecube down the back of your beloved’s pants… how about that for foreplay?)
I’ve still got another couple of weeks on Eharmony. The last couple of women I’ve gotten to the email stage with fizzled out, as I really wasn’t interested in dating more than a couple of women. So I’ll work through my new matches and see if any interest me. That sounds so bad – I’m sure all of these women are awesome people in reality, they just do a terrible job of being engaging in a personals ad. Apparently I am halfway through a free one month subscription to Chemistry. Glad they let me know that I was getting a free month. Those matches are generally just God-awful.
Lately I’ve been really focused on work; looking for a new job and picking-up event hours whenever/wherever I can. New biz isn’t coming like I expected. I spent the past three days at the airport meeting VIPs at the arrivals gate and escorting them to their ride. Easy, mind-numbing, standing-intensive work but the pay is fantastic. Let’s put it this way, I almost paid my car bill in less than 20 hours.
Today I interviewed at an interactive new media advertising agency near Ga Tech and I feel that it went well, with my agency background being a huge plus in my column. I Facebook’ed the girls who interviewed me and laughed when I saw they not only graduated after me (UGA, go figure), but are my younger brother’s age. No doubt we’ll have our fair share of happy hours together.
PS – For those of you that realized that the picture above is of the Transformer, Shockwave, you have earned a beer on me.
Seems like every time I meet a girl from an online dating venture for the very first time, there is this split-second look of disappointment… maybe not even disappointment exactly, but you can tell that I don’t look exactly as she envisioned in her mind’s eye. Not that it really matters, because shortly she’ll warm-up to me as if we hadn’t even met online. It’s just funny to me. Sure, there will always be a few people who are hung-up on physical disparities and can’t get beyond it (maybe that’s why they never have any luck) but to most it is a passing thought.
Another first date tonight. Another girl I want to see again. She was a little hard to read also, the non-verbal stuff wasn’t as much of a dead giveaway as with some women I’ve dated. Could have been nervousness. The nervous jitters don’t really affect me any more… probably because I’ve learned to detach myself from the outcome and just take things for what they are, becoming less “desperate” and more of the laid-back, smart, funny guy that women want. I want to learn more about her, but physically she’s totally what I go for. Older than me as well.
Tomorrow night the interior designer is cooking me dinner and we’re making it a Blockbuster night. It appears that I won’t be able to do the same with the physical therapist until next Friday or Saturday, but maybe I’ll see her at the marathon. The actress seems to be too busy lately, so I’m considering a demotion (or maybe just being friends with her altogether) and replacing her with the girl from tonight. I never did meet the girl who works at the zoo and honestly at this point I really don’t care if I ever will… the initial “oomph” is gone.
The physical therapist and I had our second date Friday night. Showed me around her apartment. Her dog likes me, which always wins points with the would-be girlfriend. Same goes for roommates, friends, Moms and Grandmoms.
We went to Chow Baby on Howell Mill. I heard about this place via a story on channel 46 news (it was a positive review, no bad health scores) and had been eager to try it out. It’s a create-your-own stir fry/Mongolian BBQ joint with kick-ass mojitos. I would TOTALLY recommend it to anyone, though if you go for lunch or dinner on the weekend it may be very busy and crowded… as it was Friday night.
We talked about memories of being children and stories from work. She’s got big, expressive eyes which I love. I can usually tell a lot about a person from their eyes; where they look when they’re remembering something can tell you if they are a more visual person or if they are more kinesthetic… meaning they feel things at a deep level. The theatre major I’m dating is the latter.
We finished-up dinner and drove to Dave and Buster’s in Marietta. She did something so cute on Thursday night when I called to tell her when I’d be picking her up. She had no clue as to what Dave and Buster’s was, so she didn’t know how to dress. Was it more a club? Was it more of a sports bar? I take that as a good sign, as she wants to look good for our date but not out of place.
We played games all night. She beat my ass pretty good in basketball and I sorta beat myself in air hockey. Any time we won tickets we always found some cute kid to hand them off to… it was really cool to see the kid’s eyes light up when she handed him a couple of hundred tickets so he could get that stuffed Elmo or whatever. We joked around all night, brought up inside jokes… flirted. I would put my hand on the small of her back or around her waist to pull her in… squeezed her thigh just above the knee… interlocked my fingers in her’s when we pushed the button on some game together. When I dropped her off and gave her a hug and kiss goodnight, she gave no objection to the kiss (nor to any of the other physical touches) yet she didn’t kiss back. It was like kissing the back of your hand. I’m thinking she just takes things much slower than any other girl I’ve dated. I typically enjoy doing flirty push-pull type of interactions with girls who are attracted to me and they always eat it up, but I haven’t with her yet. Maybe I should.
I’m having a hard time reading her interest and attraction towards me… which may be why I’m more interested in her than the other two girls who are obviously into me. For the third date I’m planning to cook dinner for her at her place. We’ve talked about going to Braves games and hiking/running together, but I want some alone time.
After a successful third date on Tuesday with interior designer, we move along to Thursday night. Initially I was going to spend the evening with the lovely physical therapist, however, her mother decided to visit this week and spend the evening with her tonight. She called me Wednesday afternoon to inform me of this revelation, citing that she didn’t want to deal with the intensive Q&A that would arise if she told her Mom that she had a date. I could tell she felt badly about canceling and wanted to reschedule ASAP.
So we’re going out tomorrow night instead. It’s Luke’s birthday, but he doesn’t seem too gung-ho about turning 26. We shall dine at Chow Baby on Howell Mill. Has anyone eaten there before? I’ve been to the whole stir-fry/Madarin grill sort of restaurant before in Kansas so I know what to expect. I’ll thoroughly enjoy it, I just hope she will and isn’t a finicky eater. Can’t stand that, personally. My brother and father are like that.
So with a free Thursday evening, I whipped-out my cell phone and called the theater girl who I have wanted to meet for quite some time now. We got a late drink at Front Page tonight… which turned into a three hour first date. I’m getting quite good at those. Unlike last week’s first date, I want to see her again soon. I see a lot of my ex in this girl, but I’m trying to decide if she possesses the good qualities or the bad ones.
Now you may be asking: “RA, it’s March Madness… what kind of heterosexual man would date a time like this?!?” I’ll admit, I was a little upset when I left the house during halftime of the Duke game and returned to see the final score. But last time I checked, Greg Paulus neither smells nice nor wants to make out with me. And he’s kinda flat-chested… not that I care about that sort of thing.
So for any of you who have dabbled in Eharmony at some point, you might have noticed that you must go through multiple stages of communication before you’re allowed to freely speak with your match. Read the rest of this entry »
Last night was the double date. I picked her up at her place, met her roommate, etc. Then we hauled ass over to the Vortex to get a burger and beer before the show. Patrick and his girlfriend joined us and, if I were a less confident man, would have totally embarrassed me with the stories told in those 45 minutes. But she was a good sport and joined-in.
We walked down to the Variety and I thoroughly enjoyed that show. We upped the physicality a little. When she went to the bathroom, Patrick’s girlfriend nearly jumps clear over him to talk to me about her. Apparently both of them think we’re a good match. So anyway, I’m not the type of guy who openly does PDA in front of my friends. I walked her to the door and we made out a bit under the yellowish glow of the porch light. I didn’t stay, though I probably would have if the situation were different.
I don’t think I’m pursuing any “new” people on Eharmony. I need to tactfully deal with what I’ve already got.
This is something I can see myself doing as a new hobby. Working-out in the gym is one thing, but I think spending more time outdoors would be good for me. I have no clue what it exactly entails, but the physical therapist enjoys it so maybe I can learn. I think Stone Mountain could be an all day date. J had mentioned wanting to go camping/hiking, but we never got around to it. Every time I go into an REI or Dick’s, I always want to get involved in the outdoorsy stuff and get the urge to buy lots of things I have no idea how to use. It’s a group I yearn to belong to.
She did mention that she keeps a knife on her to fend off would-be rapists. I would think the rapists would be more scared of her giant Great Dane than a knife… unless it’s one of those Crocodile Dundee knives she keeps in her boot.
Third date with the interior designer tonight. I’m looking forward to it. We’re “double dating” with Patrick and his girlfriend (although now I’m a little apprehensive, as she didn’t make a super impression on me) and going to a show at Variety Playhouse.
PS – More than 100 page views in one day. I think someone has stumbled across my blog and is addicted.
I had another “first date” last night. It was difficult, because I’ve already met two girls that I like and want to date… do I really need to add a third? We made plans over a week ago, so I felt like the respectful thing to do would be to go on the date. Read the rest of this entry »
Tonight I went on my third “first date” from Eharmony, this time with the physical therapist. I really didn’t know what to expect going into the date. Even though I spoke to her on the phone for nearly an hour, I still didn’t have a good feel for her personality. It seemed like she was a combination of being really shy/reserved and having a dry, sarcastic sense of humor. I’ve always felt that online dating is backwards. The things you find out before you agree to meet are what most people discuss during a first date. Read the rest of this entry »
Today is Friday… TGIF. Whenever anyone says that I always think of Urkel and Full House.
I’m actually incredibly busy next week, so tonight I’m not doing a damn thing besides cooking dinner and watching this
- Sunday the interior designer from my last date wants to get together.
- Monday I’m taking a physical therapist to drinks/dinner.
- Tuesday I’m meeting a girl who works at the Zoo for a beer in East Atlanta.
- Wednesday I’m going to the dueling pianos show at the 10 High with a Poli Sci major.
- Trivia night will occur somewhere in there.
- Saturday will probably be some sort of St. Patrick’s Day festivity. Read the rest of this entry »
