For the past few months, my Dad has been exchanging communications with a really desperate widow over Yahoo messenger. She sent him a V-day card by busting-out her Sherlock Holmes skills and finding our address and landline number on the net.
He asked Corey and I how we felt about him talking to a woman. I have mixed feelings. On one hand, I think everyone deserves some companionship and a friend to talk to… even after your partner dies. However, I also don’t like the idea of my Dad seeing another woman. Mom told me in conversation long ago that if Dad were to die (and this was when there as a good chance he might) she wouldn’t be able to bring herself to meeting new people.
So they’ve spoken on the phone a lot and since April she has been over to visit him… usually for 8 or more hours at a time… just watching movies and talking is ear off about every facet of her life. I try not to have much interaction with her but I can see that she likes my Dad whereas he’s just looking for a friend and someone else/new to depend on instead of handling things himself.
Yep… I’ve got two people who are always in my house that I try to avoid like the bubonic plague.
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May 11, 2008 at 11:30 am
anniegirl1138
My step-daughters (23 and 25) didn’t have to endure me eight hours at a time when their dad and I were first getting to know each other, but I know it was very hard for them to see him happy with someone who was not their mom. It’s a normal reaction. My husband did make a point of talking with them and assuring them that his feelings for me didn’t change the love he shared with their mom. Falling in love (or just dating) after you are widowed is not the same as when you are single/divorced and falling for someone new after a break-up with someone else. There is conflict but it’s just not the same.
You sound like you are in quite the tight spot (judging from the previous post). There is nothing to gained in the long run by not speaking up. Letting people know how you feel and what you expect doesn’t have to be an angry confrontation. State the facts and let the chips fall. You have control over your feelings and the way you express them only. Others are responsible for themselves. Just don’t suffer in silence. It only makes things worse later.
Take care of yourself.